10 more days

Tomorrow my single digit countdown begins. It’s not the procedure that worries me, its days before the procedure…I’m afraid that things that are unplanned will happen. I’m not really a big fan of impromptu happenings especially if it involves an emergency room in the middle of the night. I would love to say I have complete TRUST and FAITH in my God but a part of me, the physiological part of me tells me it’s gonna happen soon.
Strawberry Cheesecake and Iced mocha
But  I maybe feeling this way also because I was a little bit more active today than my usual routine.  After dropping my son at the nursery, I ventured into Mall of the Emirates, the next mall that’s closest to our house and one that we used to frequent often BC (Before Child). I tried to do my usual shops but 1/2 a lap I was already exhausted and had to sit down for some snacks. I stopped over at COSTA and had the Strawberry Cheesecake, which was light and not too sweet, just what I needed and the Iced Mocha which was good, but together they didn’t mix well. Because the cheesecake was sweet, the Iced Mocha tasted bitter which I didn’t enjoy at all. I would have been better of ordering water. But then, it’s a coffee shop, who gets water at a coffee shop?
To add to my foolishness, I went to the grocery without getting a cart, hence I had to carry 3 big bags of diaper on my own, which I think added stress on my back.
I heard mass on my own for the first time, you see lately hearing mass seemed like a selfish thing for me. We all go up and stay in the children’s area but DS gets claustrophobic and turns to his father to take him out, they go down, do whatever and wait for me to finish hearing mass. When I emerge from my mass dear hubby is in a totally bad mood because DS would not listen to him and DS is frustrated because his father cannot give him what he wants. So after a couple of attempts on this, we decided to give up hearing mass all in all. But now, since I can go to church on my own, I can hear mass all by my lonesome self and I have to say, I didn’t miss the constant voice in my head worrying where they were and what they were doing and how they were doing. They were/are safe at home doing their usual stuff.
I feel like DS knows there’s a big change coming and this explains his erratic behaviour lately. Of course this adds to my stress, DH thinks I’m the one adding stress to myself, telling me to relax and that “He doesn’t need to be clean before bed” WHAT???? last I checked we were raising a child and children NEED to be cleaned before BED. They have to brush their teeth, wash their face, feet, and hands at the very least. I don’t want my son to grow up without a proper hygiene just because I was too lazy or to stressed out to help him out because I was pregnant.
Last I checked there were two names on the Birth certificate and both of them were not MINE. 
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