a promise to my 40 year old self

At the beginning of this year I made a resolution to lose weight. I know, so original right? But I told myself that with my youngest being 4 years old this year, carrying that extra baby weight around is simply not acceptable anymore. So I bought all the Bootea on sale, skipped my meals and reduced my carbs and just all around forgetting to live life. Now I know this should mean that I’m a size 0 by now right? Weeeeell…not quite because while doing all this craziness I’ve had constant headaches that disabled me from doing anything around the house and the most scary part was that it was affecting my driving (and I never drive alone – I always have two precious passengers behind me). But my harsh realization came to me by way of my husband (my light and guide 😜) when one night as I was complaining of yet another massive headache he told me that I have to take care of myself more. Be aware of the things that harm me and not consciously inflict them upon myself because this craziness of trying to lose weight could kill me (so enlightened right?).

Anyway, his words made an impact on me (I don’t know if that wouldn’t impact anybody) and made me realize that maybe loosing weight with a “The end justifies the means” attitude isn’t exactly the best way to go. Plus if I did lose my weight and died in the process that wouldn’t be a good thing too right? Anyway…

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Better Health Ahead Sign

With my birthday around the corner and 40 being a couple of years away, I made a new promise to myself BE HEALTHY  and  FIT by 40. Healthy enough to run around with my boys and fit enough to outlive the pet tortoise 🐢 I’m going to get as soon as we have a garden to put him in (you do know they live up to a 100 right?). Now, if a few pounds get to be shed off in the process then that wouldn’t be so bad, right?

No Photoshop here! Hard work and  lots and lots of pain! #no pain no gain.

Inspired by my cousin Chinky, who’s kicking 40 in the a** by loosing weight by changing her lifestyle and being fit with regular exercise and a healthy diet (I’m so proud of her!) I’ve slowly started being active myself. I’ve dusted the stationary bike 🚴we’ve had for almost forever and made plans to make use of our community pool 🏊 when the boys start school. Of course some much needed scheduling should be put in place first which also happens to be my favorite exercise 😜. There are talks of joining a gym but then I realized I hate organized grouped activities and small talk with strangers so I’m thinking of alternatives like me and You tube Jillian in my living room.

cycling with a view

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Doesn’t she look scary?

I’m not planning to join a triathlon or lift 53 kg by the time I’m 40.  But maybe I do owe it to my family not only to take care of them but also to take care of myself too. Also, to make sure that I’m going to be here for them for a long long long… time.

Welcome to my future midlife crisis.

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Manila the nth time around.

img_8052We’ve been living abroad for over a decade now and we’ve been coming home every year to no fail. I know I’m lucky to have this opportunity but every year I go home with a semi heavy heart. Not because I hate going home, eating good Filipino food or spending time with family but it’s because I immediately think of the inconveniences that I’m going to have to encounter and endure while we stay in Manila for 3-4 weeks. The traffic, the constant fear of getting mugged (thankfully it’s never happened), getting into a car accident because people drive like crazy, and thanks to TV Patrol, Akyat-Bahay gang, Salisi gang, Martilyo gang, etc doesn’t exactly help calm my nerves. As soon as I land NAIA 1 (need I say more?) my anxiety level goes crazy. I’m lucky that the husband knows how to handle me and we survive every year because if I had to depend on myself to get calm we will never carry on 😉.

But this year I think some of his care free/go with the flow/just go with it attitude has rubbed a little on me because even as I write this, I can’t remember a single thing to complain about on our recent trip. Yes there was traffic, yes there was heat, yes there was rain but for some kind of miracle I took all these with stride and wasn’t even too bothered about the whole deal.

img_8084Some circumstances helped a little too. First, we landed at NAIA 3 which is already a BIG improvement from … (that place that shall not be named). Second, WAZE helped a lot  to bring down my anxiety with the traffic. I think knowing what time you were going to get to your destination and knowing that there was hope in any traffic situation helped me get through the notorious Manila traffic. Third, Family and friends is ❤️. The support, the help and even just getting the boys entertained and keeping them happy already made the trip worthwhile.

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I left Manila feeling like I always do, 1st that the trip was too short, 2nd that I’m very sad to go, and 3rd there goes another 10 pounds I’d have to lose. But this year there was something different, while in the past I’ve always thought that one year was enough time to get over the “Trauma in Manila” this year I wouldn’t mind coming back in less than that.

If there was one thing I’ve learned from this trip, it’s the art of letting go..no this is not a hugot line. But more of letting go of things that are out of my control like the traffic.  Planning ahead is a good thing but if things don’t go as planned I’d have to accept it and move on, more often than not moving on with other plans are always far better than my own. Over thinking, over planning, and being an all around drill sergeant never really helped anybody and I’m trying my best to be less of that for my sake and my boys.

I think the best way to deal with Manila or anything in life that brings you anxiety is best said with these words:

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

 

Imagine all this enlightenment with only a trip to Manila? Think of how much enlightened I will be if we go on a trip to...Japan?? HINT HINT! #anybodyoutthere #subtlemoves