Eager to try out my new Lascal Buggy Board, I decided to take the boys out to the mall for lunch. I have to say it did not disappoint. Adrian loved riding on his “skateboard” he stayed on it the whole time! I could’ve shopped all afternoon but my little one, Aden needed his afternoon hug from mom (translation: he was sleepy) that we had to cut our trip short.
During this quick experiment, Adrian and I were physically closer to each other because the buggy board gave him height that he was closer to my face, we were able to converse a lot, it’s not what is the meaning of life type of conversation but pleasant nonetheless. This made me think of a recent post by my friend and idol blogger (naks!) mymommylogy about first borns entitled “I’m An Eldest Child Too” she talked about her own two children and how she had a connection with her first born because she herself was a first born too!
This made me think about my own relationship with my first born and how I treat him differently from my second one. I sometimes unknowingly expect him to be the more mature one when really he is just a child himself. It gets me frustrated sometimes when he wants to play and all I want to do is finish my chores. But lately, it seems that he’s changed lanes and on his way to some level of maturity. Aside from being the pleasant conversationalist that he is, he’s been volunteering to feed Aden, started opening doors for me and expressing his feelings more and more.
I know our road to life is still a long way to go but as they say, it’s not the destination that matters it’s the journey.
Last night, Adrian woke up crying but because he was sleeping with Arnie, I didn’t bother to see what was wrong. Later he crawled into my bed and hugged me really tight. Even if the bed was not big enough for the three of us I let him sleep in our bed.
After he fell asleep in my arms it got me thinking, is it possible with Aden around, he feels neglected by me? in a way so obscure to him that when he sleeps he wakes up crying for me?
Dramatic I know, but when you think about it, I’m juggling a baby, a toddler, the house and a husband (plus a blog) I’m afraid to say it but something’s gotta give.
I pray to God this is not true and is only a product of my over dramatic brain. I did make the extra effort today to make kuya feel extra special. After school, I asked him where he would like to eat and of course my boy shouts out “Mc Donalds!” even if I had lunch prepared at home I gave in. We even abandoned normal rules of eating on the table and sat on the living room floor for a “picnic”. I also tried not to be to rigorous with my rules to lighten up the mood and it seemed to work. I have to remind myself sometimes that the boys (including Arnie) always come first. The laundry, dishes, ironing, cleaning will get done – somehow!